Things That Actually Happened in Deep Purple


  • Ian Gillan running around a hotel naked because he woke up with a spider in his mouth
  • Ritchie suggesting Roger die onstage as part of a show
  • Glenn getting hit by one of Ritchie’s guitars when he overstepped “the stage line”
  • Ian Gillan attempting to go to third base with Roger in the back of the limousine with Ritchie repeatedly yelling “what the fuck is going on?”
  • Tommy accidentally tripping David and causing him to split his pants in Melbourne
  • Rod Evans straight up disappearing after 1980
  • Cal Jam ’74
  • Ian Gillan pouring ketchup on Ritchie’s spaghetti and Ritchie promptly throwing it in Gillan’s face
  • Ian Gillan having sex with a groupie underneath Jon’s Hammond during one of Ritchie’s guitar solos
  • The fact that Tommy was vegan but liked to cook steaks for Glenn
  • When Tony Edwards decorated Jon’s entire apartment with tinfoil while he was away
  • Whenever David does The Mic Thing™
  • Ian Gillan’s nudist tendencies
  • Tommy dashing onstage at Wembly Stadium and accidentally running into David again, but this time knocking him into the orchestra pit

Feel free to contribute to this list.